Topic

Identity, Sexuality and Intimacy

Orientation, gender, desire and the many kinds of love and closeness: how identity and intimacy show up in Ethical Non-Monogamy.

Relationship orientation and sexual orientation are different things, and both are personal. Some people experience polyamory as part of who they are; others see it as a choice that suits a stage of life. Intimacy, too, takes many forms, from sexual connection to deep platonic partnership.

This section explores identity labels, desire, platonic and non-sexual intimacy, and how to support a partner through their own identity journey, always with respect for the words people choose for themselves.

Start with these

Is Polyamory Related to Sexual Identity?

How relationship orientation and sexual orientation relate.

How to Know if You’re Polyamorous

Questions to help you reflect, without pressure.

Have You Heard of Non-Sexual Intimacy?

The many ways to be close beyond sex.

How to Hold Space for Your Partner’s Identity Journey

Supporting someone as they explore who they are.

More on this topic

Resources

Practical tools for this topic

Reading helps you understand. These tools help you put it into practice. Each one is a printable, self-paced PDF you can work through on your own or with your partners, written specifically for Ethical Non-Monogamy.

ENM Living · WorksheetYes / No / Maybe WorksheetWorksheet · PDF · 38 pagesYes/No/Maybe WorksheetKnow your yeses, noes and maybes before the big conversation.A guided tool to map your desires, limits and open questions in Ethical Non-Monogamy, so you can talk to partners with clarity instead of guesswork.Turn vague feelings into clear wordsSpot where you and your partners differRevisit it as your relationships changeSee the worksheetENM Living · AssessmentEmotional Needs AssessmentAssessment · PDFEmotional Needs AssessmentGet clear on what you actually need.Explore your emotional needs, spot areas for growth and find the words to share them with partners, so needs are met by design, not by luck.Name needs you may not have voicedSee where your relationships support youStart better conversations with partnersSee the assessment
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Explore other topics

Understanding ENM
Polyamory & structures
Communication & agreements
Jealousy & emotions

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