Start here

New to Ethical Non-Monogamy? Start here.

ENM Living is an independent publication about relationships beyond monogamy. This page is the quickest way in: a short reading path, routes for different situations and the key terms you’ll meet along the way.

A six-step reading path

Read these in order for a solid, judgement-free introduction. Each one takes around ten minutes.

  1. What is ENM? A Guide to Non-Monogamy — the core ideas and main relationship styles
  2. CNM vs ENM: Differences Explained — the language people use, and why it matters
  3. Polyamory Explained: Key Things to Know — one of the best-known forms of ENM
  4. What is the Difference Between Rules and Boundaries? — the foundation of healthy agreements
  5. How to Bring Up Polyamory in Your Relationship — if you want to talk to a partner
  6. How to Overcome Jealousy — because almost everyone feels it at some point

Find your path

I’m curious about ENM

Learn the basics, the vocabulary and the common myths.

I’m thinking of opening my relationship

Start with communication, boundaries and agreements.

I’m already non-monogamous

Explore structures, hierarchy, nesting and polycules.

I’m struggling with jealousy

Understand the feeling and make room for compersion.

I’m exploring my identity

Orientation, desire and the many kinds of intimacy.

Key terms

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)An umbrella term for having, or being open to, more than one romantic or sexual relationship with everyone’s knowledge and consent. Read more

PolyamoryHaving, or being open to, more than one loving relationship at a time. Read more

CompersionThe joy you can feel when a partner is happy with someone else. Read more

MetamourYour partner’s other partner. Read more

PolyculeThe network of people connected through their relationships. Read more

Nesting partnerA partner you live with. Read more

New Relationship Energy (NRE)The intense excitement at the start of a new relationship. Read more

Hierarchical polyamoryA structure in which some relationships are given priority over others. Read more

Relationship anarchyAn approach that avoids ranking relationships and shapes each one by agreement. Read more

Solo polyamoryPractising polyamory while centring your own autonomy, often without a nesting partner. Read more

Resources

A practical first step

Reading helps you understand. These tools help you put it into practice. Each one is a printable, self-paced PDF you can work through on your own or with your partners, written specifically for Ethical Non-Monogamy.

ENM Living · WorksheetYes / No / Maybe WorksheetWorksheet · PDF · 38 pagesYes/No/Maybe WorksheetKnow your yeses, noes and maybes before the big conversation.A guided tool to map your desires, limits and open questions in Ethical Non-Monogamy, so you can talk to partners with clarity instead of guesswork.Turn vague feelings into clear wordsSpot where you and your partners differRevisit it as your relationships changeSee the worksheetENM Living · WorksheetENM Boundary WorksheetWorksheet · PDF · 22 pagesENM Boundary WorksheetFor when you feel stretched thin.A guided checklist to name the boundaries that protect your time, energy and wellbeing, and to say “this doesn’t work for me” with confidence and care.Notice where you overcommitPut your limits into kind, clear wordsUseful whether you are new to ENM or notSee the worksheet
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Browse all resources

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