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What does polygender mean? In the world of ethical non-monogamy (ENM), we often celebrate diversity—not just in our relationships, but in the ways we understand and express our identities.
Our relationships can be fluid, evolving with our experiences and desires. Similarly, our gender identities can shift, expand, and transform over time.
One term that reflects the beautiful complexity of identity is polygender.
While it may sound unfamiliar to some, polygender is a valid and powerful way to describe how someone experiences gender.
It’s not just about a fixed identity but a dynamic one, embodying multiple aspects of gender at once, or over time.
Let’s break it down, explore its meaning, and connect it to the ENM lifestyle.
Key Takeaways
- Polygender is an identity where individual experiences multiple gender identities.
- It challenges the traditional binary gender model and falls under the non-binary umbrella.
- Respect for diverse gender expressions is key to understanding polygender identities.
What Does Polygender Mean?
At its core, polygender refers to a person who identifies with multiple genders simultaneously or at different times.
This means that they may feel like they embody elements of several genders at once or shift between genders over time.
Unlike being genderfluid, which emphasizes movement between genders, polygender often involves holding multiple gender identities together, like threads weaving a unique tapestry.
For example:
Someone who is polygender might feel partly male, partly female, and partly something else entirely—like agender or nonbinary.
Another polygender person might experience gender in a way that feels layered or overlapping, with different aspects of gender surfacing in various contexts.
Polygender, like all gender identities, exists on a spectrum.
It’s deeply personal and can look different for everyone.
Some may experience gender fluidity at times, but for others, their connection to multiple genders is constant and central to their self-understanding.
Ultimately, polygender is not about fitting into any one definition, but about embracing the full range of one’s gender experience.
Polygender and the ENM Lifestyle
So, what does being polygender have to do with ethical non-monogamy?
On the surface, these concepts might seem unrelated—one is about identity, and the other is about relationships.
But when you dig deeper, they share some beautiful similarities.
Both embrace fluidity, individuality, and intersectionality.
These shared values create a powerful intersection between gender identity and the ENM lifestyle.
Here’s how:
Embracing Fluidity
Both polygender identity and ENM reject rigid, one-size-fits-all frameworks.
In ENM, we celebrate that love, connection, and commitment don’t have to fit into predefined boxes.
Similarly, being polygender is about embracing the idea that gender isn’t static or binary—it’s expansive and multifaceted.
This shared flexibility fosters a sense of freedom and authenticity in how we show up for ourselves and others.
There’s room for multiple genders to exist in one person, just like there’s room for multiple, diverse relationships in the ENM lifestyle.
Honoring Individuality
ENM thrives when people are able to express their unique needs, desires, and boundaries.
The same is true for gender identity.
Polygender individuals often challenge societal norms to carve out an authentic space for themselves, just as those in ENM create relationship structures that reflect their values.
Both journeys require self-awareness, communication, and courage.
Being polygender means choosing to define your gender for yourself, and ENM means defining your relationships in your own way.
Both ask us to reject traditional scripts and live authentically.
Valuing Intersectionality
The ENM community often champions intersectionality, recognizing that relationships are shaped by factors like culture, race, gender, and sexuality.
For polygender individuals, intersectionality plays a crucial role in understanding how gender interacts with other aspects of identity.
This awareness enriches relationships, helping partners navigate dynamics with empathy and respect.
Intersectionality allows us to acknowledge how different identities inform one another—whether in our relationships or in our gender experience.
Being aware of this connection makes us more attuned to how all parts of a person—whether their gender, their desires, or their relational choices—interact and shape the whole.
Common Misconceptions About Polygender
Just like ethical non-monogamy (ENM), being polygender is often misunderstood.
Let’s clear up a few myths:
“Polygender Means You’re Confused”
False.
Polygender people aren’t confused about their gender; they’re expressing it in a way that’s authentic to them.
It’s society’s limited understanding of gender that creates confusion—not the identity itself.
Polygender people aren’t “undecided”; they just experience gender differently.
There’s nothing confusing about feeling multiple genders at once—it’s just a reality for those who identify this way.
“Polygender Is Just a Phase”
Wrong again.
Polygender is as valid and enduring as any other gender identity.
For some, it might evolve over time, but this doesn’t make it any less real.
Gender is fluid and personal; for polygender individuals, it’s a continual and valid part of their identity.
Just like being cisgender or nonbinary, being polygender is not something that people “grow out of.”
“Polygender Is the Same as Genderfluid”
Not quite.
While there’s overlap between these terms, genderfluidity emphasizes movement between genders, whereas polygender focuses on embodying multiple genders—sometimes at once.
Genderfluid people might feel different genders on different days or in different situations, whereas polygender people experience multiple genders as part of who they are all the time.
It’s important to acknowledge these subtle distinctions to respect both identities fully.
How to Support Polygender People in ENM Relationships
If you’re in a relationship with someone who identifies as polygender, it’s important to approach their identity with curiosity, respect, and care.
Here are some tips:
Listen and Learn
Take the time to understand your partner’s experience.
Ask questions like:
“How do you feel most comfortable expressing your gender?”
“Are there ways I can better support you in feeling seen and understood?”
Approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to learn.
Gender is fluid and multifaceted, and every person’s experience is unique.
Asking thoughtful questions without making assumptions helps create an environment of respect and acceptance.
Use Affirming Language
Respect your partner’s pronouns and how they describe their identity.
If you’re unsure about something, it’s okay to ask—just do so with kindness.
Affirming language is key to making your partner feel valued.
Using their preferred pronouns and labels shows that you respect their gender experience and are committed to understanding their identity.
Recognize Their Complexity
Just like relationships in ENM, polygender identity is nuanced.
Avoid oversimplifying or trying to fit your partner’s experience into a binary framework.
Celebrate their uniqueness as a beautiful part of who they are.
Remember, gender is not a one-size-fits-all concept—it’s diverse, complex, and deeply personal.
Respecting that complexity allows your relationship to grow and flourish in authentic ways.
Share Your Journey Too
Being in an ENM relationship means both partners bring their full, authentic selves to the table.
By sharing your own experiences, identities, and challenges, you create a mutual exchange of trust and vulnerability.
Just as polygender individuals express their fluidity and multiplicity, you should also feel empowered to share your journey.
Open dialogue deepens connection and strengthens your partnership.
Polygender as a Celebration of Identity
Polygender is a reminder that identity, much like love, doesn’t need to fit into a neat, predetermined box.
For those practicing ENM, this resonates deeply.
We already know that relationships can be expansive, transformative, and beautifully unconventional.
Polygender identity invites us to bring that same mindset to how we view gender—embracing its richness and diversity.
Whether you identify as polygender, are in a relationship with someone who does, or are simply exploring what it means, remember this:
There’s no “right” way to be.
There’s only your way.
And in both love and identity, that’s more than enough.
By celebrating identities like polygender, we enrich our understanding of the human experience and strengthen the connections that matter most.
After all, in ENM, there’s one thing we know for sure: Love and identity thrive when given the freedom to grow.
FAQ on What Does Polygender Mean?
Exploring polygender identities involves understanding diverse experiences and expressions. Here’s a closer look at some common inquiries.
What are some examples of polygender identities?
Polygender identities include a variety of gender experiences, such as being agender, bigender, or polygender itself, denoting a combination of these identities or a unique blend of multiple gender identities.
How does one determine if they identify as polygender?
Identification as polygender is a personal and self-reflective process. If you find your gender identity to be multifaceted, shifting among multiple genders, you might identify with this term.
Can you explain the meaning behind the polygender flag?
The polygender flag features stripes of various colors, each representing different gender identities. This visual emblem serves as a symbol of the diversity within the polygender community.
What are the distinctions between polygender, pangender, and bigender?
Polygender individuals experience multiple gender identities, but not necessarily all. Pangender individuals often identify with a wide spectrum of genders, potentially all genders. Bigender people commonly identify with two distinct gender identities.
What pronouns are typically used by individuals who are polygender?
Pronouns used by polygender individuals vary and can include he/him, she/her, they/them, or neopronouns. Preferences should be confirmed with each individual.
How is polygender different from omnigender and trigender?
Polygender refers to experiencing multiple gender identities that can range in number and may not encompass all genders. Omnigender typically involves the experience of all genders, while trigender people experience three specific gender identities.
For a deeper look at how polygender identity is understood and expressed, consider reading “Gender and Sexual Orientation Diversity Within the TGNC Community.”
Another useful resource is the book “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Realities,” which explores the fluidity and diversity of gender identities, including polygender.
